"I Live to think for myself. I refuse to be a mindless sheep following the crowd into cookie-cutter oblivion. Otherwise I'd just be a zombie with no heart or passion in life" - Hervey Taylor IV

The Fear of Cotton Balls

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

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Several people have told me that I need to speak out about my irrational fear of cotton balls, polar fleece... and anything fluffy and fuzzy.

There is an actual name for this fear. One is called textophobia which is the fear of certain fabrics. There is a cooler name too but I can't find it! So I may have made it up at one point in time. I think it started with an "H."
This fear started long ago as early as infancy. Apparently, I did not like to be put in those cute children pajamas because of all the fluffyness going on. In my head, I picture me as a little baby sitting there and freaking out and crying and just generally hating life. I kind of imagine myself to look like that kid over there. -->

People don't understand this fear. It's normal to not understand things you can't fully feel. But let me tell you. Cotton balls/polar fleece are the scariest things I have ever encountered. You can literally hear the fabric rubbing against each other. It's so horrible. It sounds like nails on a chalk board magnified 800 times directly in my ear drum.

This irrational fear led to my sister rubbing her hands on the top of the car roof. I think this made my ears bleed sometimes. And my roommate chasing me with her blanket around the house until I finally locked myself in my room because she wouldn't stop. This was her tool for when she was mad at me... or bored. Because apparently I am very entertaining when I get like this. One day she caught me under the blanket while I was on the couch. I was paralyzed! It was the worst feeling you could possibly imagine. I'm pretty sure I would rather walk barefoot over broken glass than have somebody put a polar fleece jacket on me. Not okay.

So growing up I could never wear all those fuzzy amazing things that people like to start wearing when it gets cold out.

 But the most tragic thing that this phobia has caused is not being able to wear this... 

Which really makes me a sad person because could you imagine how warm this would be when you went camping!? Except, as it has been pointed out to me you could get shot because somebody mistook you for a bear. But if you just lay on the ground and don't run around growling all crazy like I feel this would be ok.

This is enough for me to start considering getting over this fear... and then I see a cotton ball and once again I am instantly petrified. If not even an amazingly awesome bear sleeping bag could get rid of this fear, I am pretty sure nothing can. I am doomed to forever walk in this world in a state of constant cold because I won't put on a damn fluffy jacket!