"I Live to think for myself. I refuse to be a mindless sheep following the crowd into cookie-cutter oblivion. Otherwise I'd just be a zombie with no heart or passion in life" - Hervey Taylor IV

The Awesome Idea Factory

Monday, November 28, 2011

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Today, I started the last week of classes for this semester. I know, I could almost die with the excitement I am feeling about this! Notice the word "almost." I could almost die with excitement... if it weren't for the week of finals starting one week from today. I could almost die with excitement... if it weren't for my teachers having cumulative finals. I could almost die with excitement... if you didn't give me an entire week off and then expect me to come back with some magical burst of enthusiasm for just two weeks. See, it's a pretty darn big ALMOST. I guess I have to wait exactly 10 days for the real excitement to kick in.

I think the key to cutting out the almost would be ending school before Thanksgiving break. Sound like a good idea to you? Because it sounds like an EXCELLENT idea for me. I would much rather start school two whole weeks earlier if it meant that I got off from Thanksgiving to January. That would just be beyond spectacular. I know, I am lucky with the 6 week break that NMSU is already giving us but 8 just sounds like a better number.

It turns out... 8 IS a better number and let me tell you why. Apparently, the Chinese consider 8 a lucky number because it sounds like the word prosper in the Chinese language. Additionally, numerologists believe that the number 8 stands for business, success, and wealth. I don't know about you guys, but most of us college students tend to actually go to college because we want to get a good job, be successful, and make money. 8 also represents a type of momentum that comes from repetition of cycles. Isn't that what every semester is... repetition... over and over and over? A never ending cycle! I think I am making an excellent case as to why we should have an 8 week break. Really, I think I just solved all of the world's problems by simply evoking the enchanting powers of the number 8. Then we could stop all this Occupy nonsense and actually boost the economy (business), get more kids to graduate and actually get employed (successful), while all the while making money for ourselves and the economy (wealth). Just cut out this 2 week stretch and give our growing college student minds a chance to breathe a little. Uhh... does anybody else think this is the best idea ever? People should really pay me to come up with these brilliant ideas.

Unfortunately, I have not received a call about employment opportunities at the Awesome Idea factory... even though I'm at least a 51% share holder. So for now, I will hopelessly stare at the phone awaiting the call.

All the while... I will be destroying 85 trees. I did the math. It's at least 85. With all the notes, books, tests, and other paper material I print out on a daily basis, I am destroying trees. Lots and lots and lots of trees. Even though I can recycle this... recycling paper can only be done 3 times before the paper fragments shorten too much to be used again. So great. I am a mass tree killer. I feel so good about myself.

Just today I bought 500 note cards. 500!! I am not a person to study for tests on note cards... I just never really have done it before. But while in class, I somehow got the idea that since I have so many cumulative tests this year I should make note cards. Note cards were never really necessary because most of my teachers were kind, generous and smart and said that our final was only over the last section of notes taken after the previous tests. This year, my teachers are cold and conniving and all decided to meet up at their secret teacher convention that must have come to town. Turns out, the topic this year was cumulative test taking! I can only imagine what the key note speaker must have said.

"It's only 25 chapters PER class... and they only have FIVE finals in a row to take. That's only a total of 125 chapters at oh lets estimate only 3000 pages of material. That's nothing!!"

This was obviously received with thousands of screaming cheers from faculty all across the world... and thus it was decided that cumulative test taking was in this year.

I usually get away with only 1 or 2 cumulative finals but not this year. I bless the two teachers that decided to not have a final at all. Because I really couldn't take another several hundred pages of material to shove in my brain. It's already eroding at a rapid pace. I found myself sitting in evolution today talking about primates and how humans evolved and our brain size and next thing I know I was thinking about the brain I dissected in zoology. Which led to lack of brain in the sheep I judge/clean/work with. Which then led me to that persuasive speech I gave in seminar. Which made me think about how I only have 1 day left in communications which made me giddy and I started giggling and the evolution teacher scowled at me. See... it's already affecting my mental state. Giggling in the middle of an evolution lecture when the rest of the class is silent and you are staring off into nothing... makes you look a little bit like a crazy delusional mad hatter.

Therefore, this all led to the conclusion of making note cards... of which I have already reached close to 200 and I am only on one class. I am going to need to make another stop at the store this week. I probably have been avoiding this note card taking to ultimately avoid the many many trees I am inevitably killing...

And to think, had we only had off right after Thanksgiving, the teachers would have been happy and would have not felt the need to attend the crazy teacher convention. They then would have only had finals from the last section of course work and I would not be killing 85 trees.

All of this from my conclusions on the number 8. I know... awesome.

You are welcome.

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