"I Live to think for myself. I refuse to be a mindless sheep following the crowd into cookie-cutter oblivion. Otherwise I'd just be a zombie with no heart or passion in life" - Hervey Taylor IV

If A Boy Gives You A Cake

Saturday, May 26, 2012

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Have you ever wondered what makes a person ask another person out? Or how they actually go about asking someone out? I have... many times.

Like today, when I was at the grocery store and this 20 something year old cashier starts chatting me up about how unfocused I am. Which, really I was. I was getting my groceries and truly off in a world all my own thinking about meals I wanted to make, where I wanted to go running, where was the best place to buy a coffee travel mug because not having coffee every morning was starting to drive me crazy... all in all I was not really at the grocery store.

So, in this state of mind, without even thinking about it, I was completely ignoring the cashier as he was blabbing on and on about who knows what. Summer, memorial day... New York I think. It is all a little hazy. I wasn't paying attention and his what I think was an italian accent was rather hard to actually understand. Especially when I am quite hard of hearing already. I think it is why my normal talking voice is so incredibly loud. I really just do not hear all that well.

All of this mixed together lead to a really strange and extremely awkward encounter.

As I am helping bag my stuff, which I am not exactly sure if you're supposed to do that but I always do anyway, I find myself whipping out a few "Yeahs," a couple "Uh-huhs," and quite a lot of "Mmm-hmms."

That is why the next part was very odd... I hear the cashier say, "So I guess thats a no?"

My head snaps up from my purse where I was  frantically trying to find my debit card. I make a tiny second of eye contact with this guy and look back down and mumble a "I'm sorry what?"

"So I guess that's a no to a date."

At that my eyes flash back up with my debit card half way in the air where I stand a little frozen. Did this all really just happen? Then, I think he realizes how not present my mind is so was making a joke... but when I smile and kind of half giggle, his face starts to fall a little... and I realize what a bitch I am being at that precise moment.

First, I don't listen to the guy. Then, I don't even answer when he asks me out. Then, I proceed to laugh at the whole situation. Super classy Kaitlyn. Super classy.

Somehow, I managed to get out of there with something along the lines of I'm flattered truly but no thank you.

Then it hits me... why the hell did he even ask me out anyway... in a grocery store. I was in his presence for a mere 2 minutes maybe. I didn't really talk to him even or look at him. What in this whole situation makes a guy want to ask me out. Absolutely nothing. I appear to be a pre-occupied, day dreaming girl who could really not give a flying flip about what is going on around her. I am truly astonished at this entire situation. I still can't seem to figure this one out.

But, I need to mention that after the fact I whole heartedly appreciated how he went about the entire deal.

I have a huge problem. It's doesn't have a name but it probably really should. It's so bad that every single one of my friends has commented on it several times and instructed me to fix it.

You see, this little problem I have is not noticing when a guy is asking me out. Ever. I just don't see the cues. They go completely unrecognized to me at all times. I have had more than a handful of guys tell me that they tried to ask me out and I apparently "shot them down" ... more than once. Guys I, at the time, really liked and was convinced they didn't like me. So bad in fact, that once I was apparently in some kind of relationship with this boy and I was completely unaware of it. How does that even happen!!? Once, I was offered a cake and turned it down because I was too full. Which I was. I had just eaten lunch actually. Who the heck am I?

People... let me give you life's MOST IMPORTANT lesson. If a boy offers you cake. You never say no. Never. Do you hear me? I don't care if you just ate an entire antelope family. You eat that flippin cake. If you never learn anything else in life. Learn that. 


Monday, May 21, 2012

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It has been awhile. But, as I said in my last post I am no longer apologizing for this. However, I can shed some light on to why I have been a little MIA and why I will hopefully be writing to you more soon.

A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks... and I sure do mean a lot. First, and most important, things first. I graduated from college. What an amazing feeling it was. Not the actual graduation. The actual graduation was a waste of 3ish hours of my life where I stood in the hot sun for an hour, almost fell down and broke my life on the steepest ramp of the world in my heels, waited inside in chairs that were too close with other graduates who were just as hot and miserable as I was, and after all of that I walked across a stage for less than 30 seconds.

It was riveting, as I am sure you can tell. I understand that this was for my family so I sucked it up and did it anyway. And I have to say thank the universe that it is over. The actual amazing feeling came when I stepped out of my last final, a final I must say I only studied about 2 hours for. It was Ecology... and I did not enjoy ecology to say the least. And as my last final in a class I was about 90% positive I was getting a B with or without studying, I really did not see the point in wasting a full day of studying for it.

Regardless, after the final I had to walk through a large chunk of campus to get back to my car. And that is when it hit me. This was the last time I was going to walk those grounds as an NMSU student. The last time I was going to cross the Horseshoe (a chunk of grass with a street around it shaped like... you guessed it... a horseshoe). The last time I was going to pass that horrible Bell that chimed every 15 minutes, always a couple of minutes early of the actual 15, 30, 45, or hour mark. That stupid bell that would wake me up in the middle of the night when I lived in the dorms.

And suddenly I found myself actually missing it a little. I would never listen to it again and think well, I'm officially late to class.

So many other little things triggered great memories of midnight walks, mud puddles, stress, happiness... and now they are officially that... memories.

I write this from Boston where I am currently getting a little nostalgic about NMSU and New Mexico. Something, I knew would eventually happen but something I was running from too. But it feels good to be done. I closed a little chapter of my life and it feels... Sad. Amazing. Scary. Exciting. And 50 other things rolled into 1.

I would like to mention I did in fact get a 4.0 which means I got an A in Ecology... which really was a horrible thing to happen. It just backed up my decision to not study... which is a horrible habit to have.

So, right after my final I pretty much jumped into graduation, and parties, and more parties, did I mention I went to some parties ;) But really, it was almost exhausting!! Then I packed about a quarter of my life and got tired so I stopped and took a little gallivant to Maryland and the HHMI headquarters which was fun as usual. Next stop was 30 hours to do some more packing and hop some more planes and end up here in Boston/Brookline.

As you can see, I've been fairly preoccupied. And I know this post was not funny or particularly interesting but I needed you to get caught up before I can get into the random occurrences.

Character Flaws

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

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I think we are all on the same level here. I am a failure. So, I am no longer going to apologize for my lateness in blogs or long intervals of time between some of them. There really is no point. It's a major character flaw that is a permanent fixture in my life. I've accepted it.

Right this very second I am doing my all time favorite activity... procrastination. I have a huge paper due tomorrow and I just don't seem to want to do it. I need to do it. It's 25% of my grade, so yeah I need to do it but I don't want to. This is also a character flaw. I've been noticing more of them lately.

On the positive, I have several pages of this paper done. There is no page limit or recommendation for how many pages we should have so I suppose this really has nothing to do with the productivity of the actual paper. I still have the virulence factors, a case example, and a health fact sheet to do. In case you were wondering, this paper is about Campylobacter jejuni a sweet little bacterial food-borne pathogen that causes some not-so-sweet problems with your insides.

But holly hell, this thing has like 85,000 virulence factors (factors which make it toxic and make the infected person really wish they had cooked their food better and washed their hands) which means 85,000% more writing to do. I should have gone with a simpler one who simply produces a toxin and causes you too poo. But no, I had to be difficult with my 20ish citations and hating life on my last week of classes.

I really cannot take this paper right now. I have 2 weeks exactly before I leave for Maryland, then Boston, then Michigan. Does the universe really want me to be doing papers and taking finals... NO. The universe wants me to eat amazing food, drink tons of wine/liquor, have good old fashioned sleepovers, watch movies, go look at beautiful houses, visit my old high school one last time, and of course see all of my friends.

These are just some of the planned events I have coming up on my last 2 weeks. Obviously, there is no time for papers or finals. Or packing... I've decided I should really pay somebody to do this for me. Lets just graduate and be done with this nonsense.

At least work is done! Bye bye sheepies, and cowsies, and all other farm animals that I had the distinct pleasure of working with for the past 4 years. But really, it was time for me to move on from smelling like a barn and instead get ready to freeze my behind off in cold Michigan winters.

I am actually quite scared for this. I just watched The 5 Year Engagement on Monday and it was like my cold frozen life was flashing before my eyes (Emily Blunt ends up being a postdoc at the University of Michigan).

Well, ladies and gents I hope you enjoyed these random paragraphs of my life's nonsense but now a cup of very strong New Orleans Chicory coffee is calling my name along with the end of the school year. I must fight my ongoing battle with procrastination!
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