"I Live to think for myself. I refuse to be a mindless sheep following the crowd into cookie-cutter oblivion. Otherwise I'd just be a zombie with no heart or passion in life" - Hervey Taylor IV

I Really Love Airplanes...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

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This is the second edition of my airplane adventures. This was never intended to be more than one post but I really cannot resist.
Airports and airplanes are like breeding grounds for rude, ridiculous, and highly entertaining people. It astounds me the type of stuff people pull. I am convinced that only about 3% of the human population have actually been taught some semblance of manners.

I think this would be an excellent thesis project for some statistician somewhere in the world. And it would be pretty easy to study. Just go to your local airport and sit and watch the mayhem unfold.

So... here I am sitting in the Detroit airport waiting for my flight to head home. But first I have to fly through Charlotte. Then I fly over New Mexico to Phoenix, AZ where I then have to fly back over New Mexico to get to El Paso, TX... so I can drive back into New Mexico to go sleep in my comfy bed. This ridiculousness is going to take me 10 very long hours!

On to people stories. Let me start with the lady that is currently sitting diagonally behind me at my gate waiting area. The most intense phone conversations are occurring with her and the people on the other side of the phone.

I don't purposely listen to people's conversations but sometimes you just can't resist it. Especially when she answers her phone and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is:

Gurl you be lucky yo butt wasn't at home when he was killed. You know them popo always be expecting to have us wives to have murdered them husbands. It is like they think you have your jordans on all up in yo black and blue lookin all fine and then you go and wack him off. Like why you be killin somebody when you looking that fine? Gurl you lucky! Oh hey honey I got to take this other call... Hey boo. Oh yeah I just talked to that gurl. She ain't too upset. Shame about that dumb kid. His poor mama. Oh yeah boo when I get home I am gonna look for a frame up in that place. It is with your shirt off!? DAMN! Oh lord have mercy.

Really... I cannot even make that up. It is still going too. She is currently discussing the state of our job economy. I could write a book about this lady. Or at least several posts.

People are also insanely rude. On my way to Michigan, I was boarding my last flight to find a man sitting in my seat... when his two pint sized babies/kids sprawled out in the middle seat and his wife sitting on the end seat.

It takes me a good 3 minutes to get this ladies attention. Where she then gives me the dirtiest look as if I have interrupted her precious time. I explain that her husband is in my seat. She stares at me for a second and goes oh... we must have has seat D on the other side of the isle. She then returns to paying attention to her kids. I stand a little baffled for a minute. Really lady. You aren't even going to move? Classy move... classy.

Eventually I turn sit down in her seat because she is obviously not getting up. I mean, I didn't want to sit next to her kids but honestly she didn't even ask if we could switch seats. I almost smacked this lady upside the head. What kind of parents did you have growing up!? T

Turns out the lady and the man next to me were her parents. I spent the entire trip passing food between them and their daughter and getting up every 10 minutes to let them use the restroom. Their bladders must be the size of my pinky nail! In 3.5 hour flight I got up 15 times.

Not to mention the fact that I was 2 seconds away from opening the exit door and throwing this lady's crying screaming kids out of that aircraft. I can guarantee that entire flight would have applauded me in this.

I fear for the way those kids are going to grow up.

Lessons of the day: If your husband gets wacked make sure you aren't home because they will automatically blame you. Also, please refrain from procreating if you are a horrible person with no manners. The world would appreciate it.

Now... on to another 3 flights. No telling what is going to happen in the wonderful world of airplanes next!

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