"I Live to think for myself. I refuse to be a mindless sheep following the crowd into cookie-cutter oblivion. Otherwise I'd just be a zombie with no heart or passion in life" - Hervey Taylor IV


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

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The time has come to tell you about Charbie. Though he and I are currently not on good terms because I am pretty positive he is on an extended vacation, I will tell you about how he was created. I owe entire credit of this story to my sister Trish who is a comedic genius! Seriously, if she ever gets tired of Holocaust and Genocide Studies/Public History she has an excellent future in stand up comedy.

One afternoon before I left for the summer and before Trish left for a life in Pennsylvania the whole fam was out for lunch at McAlister's Deli. The grandparental units were asking me about the externship that I had applied for to take a summer and do research at another lab somewhere else in the USA. I was explaining to them that my chances were slim since the program only picked 80 people and over 600 or something usually apply.

This is when my sister interjected with an evilish laugh and said there was no way I wasn't getting the internship because of my guardian cherub. Enter blank stares from my entire fam. This didn't deter her. She continued to say that ever since I was a small thing I had a guardian cherub that sat on my shoulder. He was often off gallivanting across the world and whispering into people's ears to make sure they gave me what I wanted. And when they were about to wrongfully pass me up for something he shot them with his magical arrows. Meanwhile, on her shoulder sat an ugly squawking goose that pooped all down her back and often ate the opportunities she wanted. Her goose was so loud and annoying that nobody could stand listening to it and usually gave away things to other people if only to make my sister go away so they wouldn't have to hear the horrible goose squawks.

Now, I need you to imagine this scene. My parental units, my grandparental units, my aunt and I all sitting at lunch forks halfway to our mouths starring at my sister as she not only tells this story but epically enacts it with her hands and gestures. All the while maintaining the most serious of faces because this was indeed a very serious matter. How in the world did she get saddled with a pooping goose when I got a golden Cherub!? She was obviously so unjustly wronged by the whole matter and was very upset. (Keep in mind my sister is 2.5 years OLDER than me and this convo was only a year ago).

It was by far the best story I have ever had the pleasure of listening to in my life. I wish I could have flipped out my phone and recorded the whole thing for you because yes it was that awesome!

Thus Charbie was born:

Google images - momorialcards.com
Also the invention of Goose:
Goose is so dumb that he actually has to walk around with a sign that says he is a goose.

Now it is a standing joke in our family that if something really good happens to you it was the working of Charbie. If something really bad happens... it's Goose's fault.

In case you were wondering, Charbie did secure the externship for me and I spent a wonderfully amazing summer at Boston University. And then Goose flew over because he got bored of NM and that is when I broke/lost 2 different phones. Fell down 2 different flights of stairs consecutively and had to go to the hospital. Then got ulcerish things from taking medicine that I was given for the tumble down the stairs.

Needless to say I haven't seen Charbie in a while and I can't get rid of the freaking Goose!

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