Charbie

The time has come to tell you about Charbie. Though he and I are currently not on good terms because I am pretty positive he is on an extended vacation, I will tell you about how he was created. I owe entire credit of this story to my sister Trish who is a comedic genius! Seriously, if she ever gets tired of Holocaust and Genocide Studies/Public History she has an excellent future in stand up comedy.

One afternoon before I left for the summer and before Trish left for a life in Pennsylvania the whole fam was out for lunch at McAlister's Deli. The grandparental units were asking me about the externship that I had applied for to take a summer and do research at another lab somewhere else in the USA. I was explaining to them that my chances were slim since the program only picked 80 people and over 600 or something usually apply.

This is when my sister interjected with an evilish laugh and said there was no way I wasn't getting the internship because of my guardian cherub. Enter blank stares from my entire fam. This didn't deter her. She continued to say that ever since I was a small thing I had a guardian cherub that sat on my shoulder. He was often off gallivanting across the world and whispering into people's ears to make sure they gave me what I wanted. And when they were about to wrongfully pass me up for something he shot them with his magical arrows. Meanwhile, on her shoulder sat an ugly squawking goose that pooped all down her back and often ate the opportunities she wanted. Her goose was so loud and annoying that nobody could stand listening to it and usually gave away things to other people if only to make my sister go away so they wouldn't have to hear the horrible goose squawks.

Now, I need you to imagine this scene. My parental units, my grandparental units, my aunt and I all sitting at lunch forks halfway to our mouths starring at my sister as she not only tells this story but epically enacts it with her hands and gestures. All the while maintaining the most serious of faces because this was indeed a very serious matter. How in the world did she get saddled with a pooping goose when I got a golden Cherub!? She was obviously so unjustly wronged by the whole matter and was very upset. (Keep in mind my sister is 2.5 years OLDER than me and this convo was only a year ago).

It was by far the best story I have ever had the pleasure of listening to in my life. I wish I could have flipped out my phone and recorded the whole thing for you because yes it was that awesome!

Thus Charbie was born:

Google images - momorialcards.com

Also the invention of Goose:

clipartof.com

Goose is so dumb that he actually has to walk around with a sign that says he is a goose.

Now it is a standing joke in our family that if something really good happens to you it was the working of Charbie. If something really bad happens... it's Goose's fault.

In case you were wondering, Charbie did secure the externship for me and I spent a wonderfully amazing summer at Boston University. And then Goose flew over because he got bored of NM and that is when I broke/lost 2 different phones. Fell down 2 different flights of stairs consecutively and had to go to the hospital. Then got ulcerish things from taking medicine that I was given for the tumble down the stairs.

Needless to say I haven't seen Charbie in a while and I can't get rid of the freaking Goose!

The Injustice of Fishes

I have a serious bone to pick... and it looks something like this:



Thanks google image :)

When I was a small thing way back when... I was criticized for using incorrect pluralization of words. I always called moose - mooses, fish - fishes, deer - deers and of course sheep were sheeps. After being taught for so long that adding an 's' to the end of a word would change it from the singular to the plural, I was being told this wasn't true. Of course, my little girl mind could not wrap itself around this mind boggling concept.

This is when my frustration with grammar class began. I have a huge issue with the english language: We have "rules" but there is ALWAYS an exception. This is just ridiculous. If you have an exception then it really isn't a rule anymore. These singular/plural words fit perfectly into the category of an exception and therefore, I did what I do best... ignored it and did my own thing and added an 's' to everything where an 's' should be.

And now, after all of these years teachers, dictionaries, and the world decide that indeed I was right. Well, at least in one instance. Fishes is now an accepted plural! I am not sure when or how this happened but I am pretty peeved about the whole thing. 20 some odd years I've been looked at like I was incorrect and now they stole it from me and passed it off as their own. All of a sudden my teachers go around saying fishes and everybody just sits there wide eyed and acts as if they have been hearing it their whole lives. Get real. A good chunk of these kids have been going to the same schools I have since forever and I know for a fact it was always fish. Not fishes.

If we want to get technical... fish is the plural if you are talking about a bunch of fish of one species. Fishes is plural if you are talking about a bunch of fishes of different species. So, they half caught on to what I have been saying for years. It is good to know I am not the only one that finds this completely offensive. My friend Sam and I had a convo about this a couple of months ago and I can tell you she is just as unhappy as I am.

According to my spell checker on blogger deers is now a correct plural of deer... but so is deer (minus the 's'). Foiled again!

Now I have to wonder, when will they be taking mooses and sheeps from me too! The injustice must stop.

Creatively Inept

I think it's time that I tell you a little about how insanely creative I am.

I have so many ideas in my head that I often get excited about them and just need to express these bursts of creativity. However, this is where the challenge comes in. I can't draw. I can't paint. I can't sing. I can't play a musical instrument... I can't even read musical notes. I sure as hell can't dance. Therefore, my creativity gets stuck in my head and in turn it makes me not that creative at all.

Once on a trip with my Sis and Ma, to the northern horrible city of Albuquerque, NM, they asked me to explain this. For a while I was completely and utterly dumbfounded because I had no idea how to express this. Obviously, I am not creative enough to explain it. It really is a horrible vicious cycle that I have been battling for many years. The only artistically creative thing I have ever accomplished was a calendar contest I won. We had to design a picture for art class in 7th grade when I was 12. These were all sent to a state wide calendar contest and pictures were picked for each month as well as a cover picture. I won the cover picture... along with $100 in savings bonds (which I have since lost).

Every couple of years when I am doing a really good spring cleaning in an attempt to de-clutter my life, I come across this calendar. I really can't and probably won't ever throw this away. It is the one and only magnificent reminder of how, at some point in my life, I was creative. Then, I remember how the catchy slogan may or may not have been loosely/entirely based on something my mother said. And the only next obvious line of thinking has to be... How bad did all the rest of the photos epically fail if this was the one to be picked for the cover?

Further proof is when me and my sister painted some pretty awesome pottery banks at this cute little place up by Media, PA. I picked a hippo... which I thought was a cow at first but was quickly corrected by the employee of the shop. My sister picked a dinosaur because she is obsessed with them being an anthropology/history geek and all. She even has a tattoo dino which oddly looks quite similar to this little fellow here.



They both looked really cute after they were glazed but I couldn't find the picture that had both of ours in it.

If you could see both of them glazed and up close, you would be able to tell my sisters is painted extremely well with a cute design on the back. Mine is pretty much a splatter of paint... I didn't even manage to stay inside all of the lines.



So, I feel like these are not a justification of creativity and the calendar was simply a matter of luck and possibly the early workings of Charbie (my guardian cherub that kicks it on my shoulder to make sure my life rocks - I'll explain his creation at a later date).

Long story short:
Inside my head = GREATNESS. To everybody else = Still pretty freakin great minus the creativity ;)

-Till next time friends. Keep on dancing to those drums.

Ello

I figured I would jump into the blogging game. If only to have an out from my crazy hectic life... when I should probably be doing something more productive like studying for my microbial genetics exam tomorrow.

I'm thinking I should tell you (hopefully there is a you out there somewhere) a little about me. I am 21 and an undergraduate at New Mexico State University where I dabble in the scientific world. This is where my head is most of the time. Reading articles. Conducting research. Currently agonizing over the many graduate school applications that are due what seems like tomorrow. 

I was born and raised in the Land of Enchantment otherwise known as New Mexico. In my opinion, there is nothing enchanting about it but this is only because I have lived here far too long and am itching to get away. In reality, it is excellent if you like the heat, love the outdoors, hate humidity, and aren't a huge fan of grass. The number one thing NM has going for it though is the chili. Our state question is literally "Red or Green?" referring to the type of chili you prefer. For you mid westerners and east coasters chili is a vegetable, one that I prefer green and on top of everything I eat. You would be surprised how many people on my adventures across the east didn't have a clue as to what this was. You won't find anywhere else in the world with as good of chili as Hatch, NM.

Anyway, I am in my 5th year as an undergrad only because I kept taking too many classes and racked up three degrees. What this really means though is that I am leaving in 1 year! Where, I don't know but I do know it will be away from here. Much to the dismay of my mother who is about to have a hard case of empty-nest syndrome since my sister left a couple of months ago for graduate school in Pennsylvania. She'll be back though. She has always been in love with this city and this state and I have no doubt she will plant her roots firmly in the dry New Mexican soil and have a beautiful life in the sun.

I feel like I didn't actually tell you much about me. Well, my favorite color is turquoise and my favorite animal is the sloth because who wouldn't want to sit around and be lazy in the trees all day? This doesn't even begin to crack into my life but hey we have time for that. Right now, I have to light a fire under my butt and get studying.

Stay tuned... I ensure you there will be plenty of grammatical errors, pointless facts, scientific conundrums and shenanigans of all sorts. I can promise you this because I have been called many things in my life, but normal wasn't one of them.