"I Live to think for myself. I refuse to be a mindless sheep following the crowd into cookie-cutter oblivion. Otherwise I'd just be a zombie with no heart or passion in life" - Hervey Taylor IV

Oh Canada

Sunday, July 15, 2012

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As you may know, I am moving to Michigan very very soon. As in I leave for Michigan in 27 days and get there in 29 days.

Needless to say the only thing I have packed is my shot glass collection... which is obviously the most important part. So important in fact that it took me hours to individually wrap each and every one and pack them nice and neatly into boxes before I left for the summer in Boston. Because really, the only thing I will need in graduate school are shot glasses right?

Who needs clothes, shoes, towels, bedding, toiletries and books anyway? Those things are overrated.

As you can see, my lack of packing seems to be a rather large problem. But I still have 27 days to get my life together... nope! I only have 3.5 really short days in New Mexico at the end of the summer to pull it all together. And it's not like all I am doing is packing... I do have other plans:

1. Eat a TON of food. Literally, I may gain 10 pounds in 3.5 days and I don't even give a damn. This may be the last time to eat at some of my favorite restaurants and eat so much yummy Mexican food.

2. Have lunch at Andele's with one of my best friends.

3. Have an all day happy hour extravaganza with some of my favorite people. Oh happy hour how I have missed you!! Boston doesn't believe in happy hours... no really, it's illegal. Reason #15 why living in Boston would be a bad choice.

4. Family dinner.

5. Maybe some hiking with good friends who will also be in town.

6. Dinner and drinks with the Sisterhood.

7. Bar time... all the time.

And then after all of that, I can possibly, maybe start thinking about packing. As you can see, I have my plate (and cup) rather full for 3.5 days. I even had to nix a dentist appointment I had wanted to schedule because clean teeth take a backseat to good friends and family.

However, none of these encompass a main concern. A concern of mine that has been growing steadily for some time. What exactly is this concern? How do I go about finding a Canadian to marry?

You think I am kidding. I assure you I am not. I have never been more serious about anything in my life. Which is saying a lot because I'm actually quite serious when it comes to school and you know, my future. Just those little things.

This concern of mine came about when I realized the pressure the world was putting on me to marry a Canadian man. The world seems to be very adamant about this and vocally expresses it through my friends.

You see, since I have been telling people that I am moving to Michigan in August I have gotten a lot of responses. Do you know what the number one response has been? Nothing to do with how this will be great for my future, how I'm going to hate the cold, how I will love Ann Arbor. No... the number one response I have received is that moving to Michigan will be the best thing for me because my chances of finding a Canadian husband have increased by 85% percent due to proximity to the actual country of Canada.

When I asked my friends why everyone who knows me believes I should marry a Canadian these are some of the responses I have received...

1. "You'll have a really sweet house in the woods in Canada that will be an excellent place to visit and do wintery wonderful activities."

2. "You love syrup."

3. "I know you really hate kids, Kaitlyn, but you'll love Canadian kids. There's a big difference."

4. "Not only will you have awesome Canadian kids but they'll speak French and wear berets."

5. "I mean, look at you. You basically scream F off boys unless you're Canadian. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the first question you ask on a date."

6. "You talk like a Canadian anyway. This way you'd have an excuse to say Eh all the time."

7. My personal favorite... "Obviously I need to use your son for his dual citizenship to smuggle Cuban cigars into the USA because Americans apparently aren't allowed to go to Cuba. I've got a lot riding on this."

And we wonder why the rest of the world hates Americans.

I am honestly baffled as to how this Canadian obsession came in to being. But seriously folks, I feel like I have a moral obligation, a duty to uphold and so many people counting on me. I'm really starting to feel the pressure of the situation. I may even have to put out personal paper adds for this issue... or hold auditions.

How hard can it be to find a good Canadian boy in the Ann Arbor vicinity?

I'm not sure but... Challenge Accepted.

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