The Witches Brew

Sorry for the hiatus folks. I actually decided to discontinue this blog. I just never let anybody know. Whoops. My life got crazy. I moved to the frozen tundra known as Michigan and my ability to focus long enough to write a blog fully diminished. But I have been asked by friends what happened to my crazy views about life. And then my mother finally brought it up and said she misses them and I should start again. 

Honestly, how can I say no to my mother? I feel like I turned her world upside down by moving far far away from New Mexico and causing a severe case of empty nest syndrome. Really it’s the least I can do! So, I will be posting at the very least every week if you’re interested. And if I go on another hiatus I will surely inform you next time.

Today’s post is informing you about the dangers of alcohol. In particular, spiced wine. Also known as Witches Brew. The most amazingly delicious concoction of spices and wine that I have ever tasted in my life.

Coming straight from Leelanau Cellars, Northern Michigan winery, this wine is fantastic in more ways than one. For starters it’s on sale all throughout the state of Michigan and just about any store for 2 for $10. That’s 1500 ml of scrumptious red wine for a measly $10. This is probably why I have invested in and consumed 8 bottles already. Second, this is a wine that needs to be heated and fills you with warmth and bubbly goodness on a cold fall night. And let’s face it, I need all the warmth I can get out here in Michigan. Thirdly, if you hate red wines… which quite frankly I think is a crime against humanity… but alas there are those of you out there that the tannins of red wines just don’t do it for you. So, if you do indeed hate red wine I am about 79.2% positive that you will like this because of the amazing balance brought to you by the plethora of spices mixed in.

Wait… I think I was supposed to talk about the dangers of alcohol. Really, the main danger of this alcohol is that you don’t taste it. So… when a completely sane and not at all alcoholic person decides that the best thing to do on a Sunday at 2:30 in the afternoon is to start drinking this warm wine somebody should definitely tell them: No, that is the worst decision I have ever heard of.

Alas, my house that is normally filled with 7 other crazy characters was empty and I was alone to do as I saw fit. And what I thought was an excellent idea was to break out the wine and start cooking. All was going swimmingly until I finished the pumpkin muffins. That’s when the alcohol kicked in and my kitchen suddenly turned in to the background for “My Drunk Kitchen,” which if you haven’t watched you should definitely youtube it. 

You see, side effects of Witches Brew include:

• Not knowing how many cans of tuna you put in your tuna salad. Which will surely cause a nervous breakdown in which you literally have to go dig through the trash to count the cans you have already used.

• Not being able to properly open a spice jar plastic safety covering doodad… which really is a bit of a hassle to begin with so we’ll say this one isn’t entirely yours and the Witches Brew’s fault. I am personally ready to give full blame to the spice company that did not fully perforate the edges of the plastic for easy removal. However, in order to get around this you will inevitably pull at the cap as hard as humanly possible until it gives way sending red curry powder all over yourself and the kitchen floor. Then you will obviously have to clean up said mess which results in a soaking wet shirt with curry sauce that never actually comes off and a slippery floor which you will probably fall on.

• Thinking a different spice jar has a shake top when indeed it has a pour top. This will result in about 3 tablespoons of your spice ending up in your soup rather than the 1 teaspoon it originally called for. In order to rectify this situation, you will just add more pumpkin hoping it will hide the spice intensity… which you will learn when you’re sober that it definitely does not.

• Deciding that you should put your very hot soup in the blender (like the recipe says to do) but accidently forgetting the lid, resulting in firey hot curried pumpkin-apple soup to splash on to your hand. In your alcoholic haze you will momentarily forget how to use water as a cleaning and cooling aid for your almost 3^rd degree burn.

• Consuming Witches Brew will most definitely lead to all of your roommates coming home… finding  you drunk cooking with a house that has intoxicatingly harsh spiced alcohol fumes wafting through it. It’s ok though because they will proceed to eat all of your pumpkin muffins and join you in consuming an additional three bottles of spiced wine until everybody has realized that all the work they were supposed to do that Sunday night most definitely did not get done.

• Last but most certainly not least, it is highly likely that your wine consumption will end with a skype call to your friends back in New Mexico who are thoroughly entertained by you and your entire life shambles. Additionally, they will declare you haven’t changed a bit.

Who am I kidding? Witches Brew is probably the most fantastic invention I have ever heard of and I highly encourage you to obtain some with whatever means necessary. And by obtain some… I really mean you should consider buying 10-20 bottles because it’s only sold seasonally. Which at this point is my biggest concern.

Blowing Through Town

Hello friends. I know I have been sooooo slow with the blogging lately. It is because my mind has been otherwise occupied. And by occupied I mean my brain is slowing eroding away into nothingness with no sleep and anxiety out of the wazoo.

But, I have several good stuff to share with you I just have been wanting to wait for the right time to tell you. I suppose now could be the right time to tell you. I really am just looking to put off studying for statistics for another several minutes so I figure this is a good way to do that. Oh, the life of a professionally trained procrastinator... I think I should get paid for my relatively stunning abilities to intensely procrastinate anything and everything and still always get it done on time and in good fashion.

1. I am going back to Boston for the summer to do more research. Which basically means... 60-80 hour work weeks. Little to no sleep. Running (assuming I don't fall down another flight of stairs... which is actually more likely than you would think) around beautiful rivers and streams. Living another 10-12 weeks in one of my favorite cities. PLUS I have great people to work around in lab and a good friend who will also be there doing research. Additional plus, I get paid really decently and never had to apply. HHMI is amazing and I am glad they gave me the opportunity to go back.

2. Guess what folks... it's official. I don't have to sell all of my belongings and head to Italy to become a hippie farmer who mainly spends most of her time drinking wine. Though, I will still continue the wine drinking wherever I may go. Also, I just learned how to make some bomb Sangria in wine class which was so delicious. So, I expect to be making this for friends, family, and of course myself very soon. Oh wait... the point... I got in to graduate school!!! I don't know where I am going yet and I am not going to tell you my options as of now. I'll let you know when I decide. But the main thing is that no matter what, I am going somewhere. It's pretty epic.

3. I will be writing a weekly wine post as promised but I don't think I am going to start it for a while. I have a couple of other things to concentrate on like... graduating, deciding where to place my life for the next 5-6 years, work, finding a place to live (probably should be at the top of my list right now), and my favorite thing in the whole world: sleep! Of which I am currently/ lacking (I'm actually always lacking sleep but it's gotten more intense within the past month or so) as my plane got in this morning and I didn't get home till around 1:30 am and I have very insanely long school day including a test. Speaking of planes, I have more traveling stories to tell you all probably tomorrow.

Stay cool my friends. And if you're in Las Cruces, welcome to the windy, dusty, really too long season of spring. It's officially started as indicated by the actually rather low 30-40 mph winds outside... which really put a damper on the otherwise pleasant temperatures of the next several months. Try not to blow away. I know it can be rather difficult at times.

A Half Melted Ice Cream Cone

I am a firm believer that bad things happen in threes. So far, 2 incredibly bad things happened today. I guess not incredibly bad. Just, you know, the route of my future that I had planned for myself is currently in a state of warfare and I am losing. Badly.


People told me for a while that I was aiming too high for my plans in life. To these people I said: F You! Really, who honestly says that to another human being? I don't care if you are thinking it. But you sure don't say it.

I was blasted for months about this. But me, being an idiot, thought to myself: I have worked insanely hard for YEARS. I had jobs that were supposed to get me places. I networked with people. I did good in my classes. I sacrificed a lot of time with friends and I blew off relationships with people because I knew my future was important. I knew I was going places. Much bigger than I could accomplish in this town. I put happiness aside at times for things that I thought would make me happy in the future.

Turns out, those people were right. After all of that hard work I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I feel like I have wasted the past 11 years of my life. I could have been doing something I love. I could have been caring less and have been happy and had fun. I could have been baking and cooking and drinking wine but instead I chose this path.

Why? Because I had these preconceived notions that if you are an incredibly hard worker and you do things that are aimed to push you to a good future you are going to get some place with your life. Nope. Not true people! Life doesn't work like this.

Life couldn't give a crap about hard work. It's all about politics and name brands and money. It really is quite horrible.

Sorry for the Debby Downer talk over here. I thought 2 hours at the gym would alleviate my anger and stress but it hasn't. I'm just angry at the whole world right now including myself. To top it off, I am very very sore.

So... here I am, currently waiting for bad thing number 3 to happen. And then the universe will be like:

Oh. Hey Kaitlyn. I really couldn't help but notice your life is going down the toilet. I mean really, I tried not to notice but hey I just couldn't resist watching. It's like a train wreck. You know something bad is coming but you just can't seem to take your eyes off of it. Here is one thing that I thought would cheer you up!

And then the universe will hand me a half melted ice cream cone and be on its way planning for another set of 3 really bad things.

I PROMISE I won't be this mopey and whiny again. It's annoying. I'm starting to get annoyed with myself too. I need to start packing bags for my future in Italy anyway. That is a much more productive use of my time.

On the most happy of things... because really, all I have to look forward to is alcohol - I am starting a new weekly post entitled A Day at the Vineyard where I shall chat about my adventures in wine tasting and maybe you can pick up a few winerific tips along the way.

This is some good advice right here



...Life doesn't have to suck. Be happy. Be happy now. Not later. This I have learned first hand... and take frequent naps. It makes for a better outlook on your currently sucky life!

The Top 10 Moments of Spring Semester... Thus Far

The beginning of school has been particularly interesting. And by interesting I mean: Absolutely horrible (with few minor exceptions) and I wish to fast forward to May and never think on these past few days again. 

For your information/enjoyment/knowing-that-your-semester-is-probably-way-better-than-mine-and-can-feel-good-knowing-that-somebody-may-just-have-it-worse (Though I know people have it way worse than I do and this doesn't make me in the slightest happy. But hey, whatever floats your canoe) I have made a list of the top 10 moments that have occurred with school starting. Which, I kind of think is a huge feat seeing as how we are only 4 days in to the semester.

1. I had to drop my statistics class. This is a HUGE problem. No statistics = no graduation. Who really wants to graduate anyway? Not me. So why exactly did I have to drop it? In short, because my teacher was an insane crazy person (I realize insane and crazy describe the same thing. But really, she needs both of these adjectives) who has absolutely no respect for the school's scheduling system. She declared that all of her tests were on Thursday nights and not during our scheduled class time of 8:55-10:10 on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Well, one of the tests is on a day I am heading to Michigan for an interview. After class, the teacher blatantly told me she didn't care that I had an interview and I would indeed fail her class. I think this is illegal. The ONLY reason I am in college is so I can go to graduate school and now you're telling me that because I am actually striving for that I will fail your class. Which in turn would not cause me to graduate thus meaning no graduate school. Well, you are an awesome teacher. As a matter of fact, your awesomeness was so incredible that I just couldn't handle it and I had to drop the class.

2. Obviously, I had to find another statistics class. I did. The only one available: from 4-6:30 at night on Tuesdays. So now, I leave my house at 6:15 am and don't get home until 6:15 at night which makes for a very exhausting day.

3. My new statistics teacher uses a different book than the old teacher. I already have my book from the old class which I bought from somebody on amazon and cannot return it. So, I had to spend an additional $70 on another statistics book. Both of which cover the exact same things. It's ok. I like to throw away money every chance I get. It's actually a hobby of mine.

4. I received my first rejection letter from a graduate school and felt officially defeated by my last first day of school. I knew they had to come but it doesn't make seeing them any less hard.

5. In my fluster of a horrible first day of school, I thought my new statistics class was on Thursdays and not Tuesdays so I stayed at school till 4 and found out I was indeed wrong and I had just wasted the last 2 hours of my life waiting for class to start. Did I mention I also forgot my wallet AND lunch so after having a 300 calorie smoothie at 6 in the morning I didn't get to eat again until I finally got home at 4:30. Apparently, eating is overrated anyway.


6. Found out one of the universities I applied for grad school to received my GRE scores... then lost them through a computer glitch or whatever. And never reviewed my application. As this was the last thing that happened on my very horrible first day of the semester, I had a complete meltdown in the middle of the dirt parking lot after walking all the way back from my class that was never actually scheduled to be on Thursday. 

5. I had an interview with a professor from Duke which was amazing. His work is exactly the type of science I am looking to get in to. But, I won't hear back from them till March and thus the continuation of the waiting game!

7. My sister's guinea pig, Nutmeg, passed away on Friday morning. Her other guinea pig, Lola, passed away two weeks ago so this was a very hard time for her and my mom. And my dogs who keep going in the pigs' room and crying/sleeping under where their house used to be. It really is quite depressing.

8. WINE CLASS. Spectacular... 7 wines in one night with snacks and actual learning going on. In 14 weeks, I plan to be a wine connoisseur. You can forward me your pressing wine questions then!

9. I got to sleep in on Sunday. It was the absolute best gift somebody could have given me. The first day in about 3-4 weeks that I have slept past 5:30. Granted, I only slept till about 7:15 but it was splendid. And guess what... I get this WHOLE upcoming weekend off.

10. I got sick :(

I am a little concerned for how this semester is going to turn out... You shouldn't be. It'll make for some good stories.